Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
