whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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