ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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