Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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