found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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