i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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