I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize