Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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