it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He has the fingertips of a God
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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