We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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