OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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