Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize