Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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