I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
