She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
