I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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