you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
