I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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