someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
