More tranny stories later!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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