Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
