I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize