Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
