we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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