What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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