I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
