you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
