But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
