if you like me you must not know who I am
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
