I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
