you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
