Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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