I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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