Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
