umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
