I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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