I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
