What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fuck appropriateness.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
