i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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