honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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