So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize