I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize