i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The feeling are messing with the penis
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
