I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you never un-have a 4some
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
