that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
