hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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