y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
