5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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