im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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