I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
