Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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