She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
