I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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