he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
then he tried to convert me to islam
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
