we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
