is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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