She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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