i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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