Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
