sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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