Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
