I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
